Today is a study day for me. I’ve left the work in the office to return to tomorrow and am spending the day half at home and half in the library instead (air conditioning!).
Today’s intention is to focus.
There are two textbooks and so many notes I have to get through and then test myself with questions. I need to focus my time and efforts wisely.
I may still be ‘young’ by many measures. But study does feel harder the more time passes. Part of it is the exams getting harder. Part of it is finding the motivation. Part of it is just having plain too much stuff dancing around in my head: memories, ideas, plans – I think, you get more of them the longer you walk the earth, it’s certainly true for memories.
The motivation for doing things changes. As a kid, I did it because I was told to. As a teen, more likely I was told not to, or that I couldn’t. In my early twenties, I loved the challenge and wanted to prove myself.
But now? What motivation will make me focus now?
Nobody is telling me I can or can’t do something.
The challenge and desire to prove myself, they are still there, but they burn out more easily. In many ways I have proven myself again and again and I wish I didn’t have to keep on proving. That desire isn’t enough to drive me anymore.
So how do I focus now?
Moment by moment. Letting go of the past. Visualising and dreaming the future. Then turning my eye to the present and what I can do in this moment to get me a little closer to that future.
How do you focus/ find motivation?
Three gratitudes for today:
1. For the lovely message that my husband wrote in my Valentine’s Day card.
2. For my little sister’s generosity in sharing her love and experiences – she recommended my new cushiony yoga mat and my practice feels amazing for the extra support.
3. For my girlfriends – our deep & meaningfuls, holding each other accountable for making choices that align with our health and well-being, and the many laughs. Waffles and pancakes all round! xx